Profile on Ulster Rugby....

Ulster - Land of the free, home of the brave.....

Like the pioneers from these shores that pushed back the frontiers in the New World, ulster hold a special place in irish rugby, the first team to conquer Europe, beating all comers and landing the ERC in a tumultuous occasion in front of 50,000 at Lansdowne in '99.

That the Province haven't challenged for European honours since that day is a source of great amusement for the Mexicans, and has become a millstone round the necks of successive coaches and players since. 'maybe next year' has become an important part of the ulster supporter's xmas greetings.

However, Ravenhill has become our Alamo, defended tooth and nail against all comers, with the great and the good being sent homewards with their tails between their legs, and the sound of the bearpit, fuelled by proper british Guinness, ringing in their ears. Inflatable sheep and f**king spides beware the wrath of the promenade hoards! indeed so great is the atmosphere in ulster's east Belfast heartland, the ulster team struggle to win away from home, especially in England, their crowds are too tame and ulster's players feel self conscious in these silent conditions.

At last however we've started to compete with our more glamourous neighbours from the pale, and their cousins from turnipstan, and the youth policy has seen some notable sons of ulster rise to the national ranks, led onwards by Neil 'Bestie' Best, as famous for his footwork as his fellow east Belfast namesake, arnie trimble and ireland's future world cup winning front row, bryan bear-young and the best brothers.

The development of young players has been remarkable, and the core of the pack, built around the central plank in the second row are young Ulstermen, with Stephen ferris being a star of the future. While leinster seem to focus on girly mincers with soft hands and dyed hair, ulster are turning out dirty nasty forwards who live on the wrong side of the ref for most of the game.

While the sweaties wring their hands and cry about it, ulster push on, and coupled with the ability to win on the road in wales, and a relative lack of international call ups, they've bagged the magners league in 2006 and look well set to regain their crown. Only the obvious leinster bias of referees can stop them now.

With talismanic figure Humphreys on the wane, his heir apparent, both with ulster and Ireland, paddy Wallace, this reporters least favourite player, has risen to the challenge and has started dishing out his own brand of entertainment. Gone are the comedy hairstyles and the showboating, replaced with rock solid defence and a knife through butter style attack, Ulster's immediate future rests on his shoulders.

Contributed by Mr B Fatfingers.